Regrets, the if only’s

During a recent on-line business course one of the participants described how frustrated they were with missing an opportunity, wishing they had done something different as the outcome could have been so much better, if only they had .... This comment lit up the room, the chat function came alive with similar regrets, some suggesting alternatives and others suggesting they should have just gone for it. Every opinion was valid, challenging and objective.

This gave me the opportunity to step away from the course content, as facilitator, to talk about why the if only’s in business is so important, my talk went something like this.

Firstly the most important aspect is realising that the opportunity was there, as this shows you are open minded to seeing a new way of doing something or shows the wanted to grab the opportunity.

Secondly if you only realised this opportunity afterwards then it was never an opportunity for you in the first place.

Thirdly if you were undecided about the opportunity then this is also a decision, as you decided not to make a decision.

Fourthly we then need to understand what it was we were so undecided about, it generally comes down to not enough information, lacking confidence, not giving it sufficient time or not sure you can deliver, basically you do not have the right resources or cannot get those resources into place, in time.

Fifthly you also need to understand if the outcome was within your power or, is it within the power of someone else, if it is within the power of another, that you could influence then you may not have given sufficient information for them to decide on you or, you may not have understood their position sufficiently.

Sixthly if you have no control or influence, then there was nothing else you could have done and so it is was never an opportunity for you, no matter how much time you gave to it nor how much you desired it.

I am reminded of a time when I thought I had an opportunity to sell a large piece of capital equipment, I had the customer, I could source the equipment, I could get it there on time, the price was agreeable to the client, the profit would have been excellent but, I did not have the funds to buy the equipment. I wanted the bank to loan me the money to buy and then wait 60 days for the payment, there was nothing guaranteeing the success of the sale so they said no. I, no matter how much I tried to change things, had to walk away from the deal, ouch, I really felt it for a long time until I talked it through with a friend and they said cash is king, you were never in the position to do the deal, you wasted months on something that was never yours in the first place. They were right and what I lost was time, energy, confidence and other opportunities as I was so blinded by this opportunity.

So there is a tremendous value in regrets, they help us understand, can guide us in a different direction next time to just do something different, but the biggest value should be that of a reality check, can you do it? Do you have the resources in place? Can you get them in place?

Be fair to you and the opportunity, be realistic, then if it does not feel right do not be afraid to step away but more importantly, if you feel good about it then do not be afraid to go for it!

As my Grandmother always said, if it is meant for you then it will not pass you by, all you have to do is follow the path.